Zits

Oops..

2006-07-03T11:30:00.000-07:00

Murrieta Valley Church WILL NOT be performing ath the Promenade Mall due to too many scheduling conflicts, and my knee injury on top of all that. Sorry, folks; maybe next year.

This Just In...

2006-05-26T17:02:00.001-07:00

On Friday July 21, 2006 (my 16th birthday), The Murrieta Valley Church Praise Band will be performing on the main stage at The Promenade Mall in Temecula. We will be playing from 6:30-8:30 pm, out in front of the Edwards Cinemas entrance. Bring some friends, hope to see you there!

Just When You Thought The Sidewalks Were Safe Again...

2006-05-26T17:02:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody! Long time, no one-way-talk, eh?

Not much to say here, I just wanted to let you guys know that I just got my driving permit, and am on the the road (and momma too, darlin') quite often now. On the test, you can miss eight or less and still pass. Guess how many I missed... I'll give you a hint: had I missed one more, I wouldn't be on the road quite often now. So... uh...yeah.

Luckily, I walked away from this one unharmed.

But boy, was it fun.

In Over My Head, Part II: In It And Of It

2006-01-28T18:43:00.000-08:00

For some time now, I’ve wanted to post about something that has been bothering me for about a year… actually, it’s two things that work in conjunction with one another. I am referring to C28, and Air1. I like to think of my posting as firing a gun; the bullets in the chamber being the motive or topic, and something in my life happening that makes me want to post about it would be pulling the trigger. Basically, nobody’s gonna get shot if there’s nothing there to pull the trigger. Until this:

Yep. That’s a nude angel followed by a… what’s that? Oh, yeah; the now-infamous “NOTW” logo. I recently saw this (roughly) same layout on the back of an old Subaru Forrester driving home from church. Below it was a large vinyl that read: “PUBLIC NOTARY” followed by the person’s cell number. So, yeah, how could he resist: my dad dialed the number once we hit the stoplight. We looked inside the little wagon in front of us to see a young girl grab her cell phone, thus causing her half-smoked Virginia Slim to hang out the window. The conversation went like this:

Dad: “Hello?”
Girl: “Hello?”
D: “Hi, uh, I’m in the car behind you…”
G: “Oh!” (Laughs)
D: “I was just curious about your window stickers. They’re sending sort of a mixed message, you know? I mean, you have a nude angel, and then right next to it you’ve got a giant inflamed C28 sticker. I was just curious as to which one you, um, ‘hold to’.
G: “Well, first of all, I don’t see the angel as naked. You see, I just lost 167 pounds, and the angel is symbolic of how I feel now that I’m so much thinner.”
D: “Oh, well, congratulations on the weight loss, that’s wonderful, but I still just don’t get why you would make such a point to bring to the world’s attention your weight, which is, by the way, a desire that is ‘of this world’. And, also, even if you, don’t see the angel as nude, trust me, everyone else sees the fully exposed breasts, even though she is portrayed in an artistic sense.”
G: “Well, sir, I’m very sorry if I’ve offended you—
D: “No, you didn’t offend me, it’s just sending a mixed message, that’s all. Well, anyways, it was nice talking to you.
G: “You too. Have a blessed day!”

And there you have it. My ‘journalistic’ trigger was pulled.

For those of you who don’t live in the Temecula/Murrieta area, C28 and its various campaigns are quite the trend. You can’t drive across town without seeing some sort of C28/Not Of This World/Daddy’s Girl stickers. And, oddly enough, just about all of them are on gas-guzzling, worldly, ostentatious vehicles. The people driving them are these botox-inflated Barbie moms who seem to have fallen asleep in the tanning bed. So then, what about “Not Of This World” is truly “Not Of This World”? Nothing. Please, take a look around their online store and show me something that isn’t meant to look worldly. They even have such campaigns as these. Captions provided for your reading pleasure. Some of the following may not be current, and some are only sold, not produced, by C28.

Cute, huh? Note the microscopic scripture address, as not to distract on a pun utilizing one of the largest metro/homosexual stores in America, Abercrombie & Fitch.

“Nutritional Facts: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit”
“Uhh, does this come in diet?”
“See? Even Paul Sr. Cruises For Christ!”
“…Come join us for a weekend of Route 66, chopper-lovin’ fun with our new ‘Harley Ministry’!”

“Whilst Thou Hear Me Now?”
“Never Lose Signal In Thine Coverage Area Of The Presence”

“Slurpees For Christ!!!”

Obviously, all of those are made to look like worldly logos. Why? Because worldly is cool. If sin (worldliness) weren’t desirable, no one would commit it. Why do you think the Serpent didn’t tell Eve that the fresh 'Goat’s Milk of Magnesia' tasted great. The fruit of the Tree of Knowledge was more appetizing to the fleshly desires of Eve. If it weren’t for the embarrassed Christian, C28 and its subsidiaries would have done out of business a long time ago, since no ‘cool people’ want tees that say “I Confess, Jesus Is Lord!” What a shame.

In a nutshell: C28 is, in fact, “Of This World”

As for Air1, C28’s somewhat annoying accomplice, well, that’s a whole other post. Check back soon.

Until then, let’s take it in context:

“Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.”

--Colossians 2:8

This Post Will Self-Destruct In 5 Minutes

2006-01-07T11:29:00.000-08:00

To spend our News Year’s weekend, my family and I watched all of the currently available DVDs of “24”, a show where one season (24 episode) takes place in one day, real time, each episode being one hour. For those of you who have not seen it, don’t, unless of course you have about 20 hours of free time (the DVDs cut out a few hours of commercials). The show is really addicting, because there’s huge cliffhangers at every commercial break and at the end of each episode. As you can probably imagine, after watching about 96 episodes of this secret agent, race-against-time, US Government, Counter Terrorist Unit stuff, you start to see (and predict) everyone’s idiosyncrasies. Here are a few things to look out for/remember while watching:

--Schematics to any maximum-security terrorist fortress can be uploaded to a PDA in a matter of 5 seconds.

--Jack Bauer can be shot at by 30 highly trained henchmen in an hour-long Mexican standoff and not get a single scratch…without a bulletproof vest.

--Jack Bauer kills bad guys on accident.

--President David Palmer took speech lessons from Barry White as a kid.

--You can drive a Ford Explorer from LAX to Hollywood in ten minutes at 4:00 in the afternoon.

--Jack Bauer has no conscience.

--Tony Almeda can hold a perfect five o’clock shadow all through the day; looking perfectly tough, yet not homely.

--The computers at CTU never get spam, popups, or the I Love You virus.

--Chloe the I.T. girl can quarantine and eliminate the terrorist’s best server-annihilating virus aimed at CTU before you can say “Pentium”.

--Apparently, the U.S. Government got all of the beautiful people for computer work. The Geek Squad got the leftovers.

--A heroin addiction developed in order to get to a crime boss’ inner circle can be remedied with some Nicorette CQ and Aspirin.

--Jack Bauer never loses signal with Verizon.

--After being awake for 24 straight hours, everyone still looks supple and peachy.

--CTU HQ’s lead P.I. went M.I.A. for a while, but was found at LAPD with a DUI.

And the most important thing to remember:

--Jack Bauer is Columbo, Magnum, The Terminator, Tommy the White Power Ranger, Rambo, Bond, and Bruce Willis all rolled into one. HE NEVER DIES, AND NEVER WILL.

The realism of the show is really what keeps me watching. Season 5 starts Sunday, Jan. 15th at 8pm.

In Over My Head: Rants Of The All-American Teenager, Part I

2005-12-20T18:09:00.000-08:00

I admit it. On occasion, I watch The O’Reilly Factor, Fox’s primo right-winger, and all news media for that matter. I just heard him interview a guy about a story where biology teachers are now unable to give a case for intelligent design, since they say that it’s a violation of the first amendment; using government dough to meld church and state together. THESE TEACHERS CANNOT MENTION GOD IN THE SCHOOL! They might get offended.

I don’t even know where to begin. This sort of stuff happens all the time, but for some reason, this particular segment caught my attention. First of all, by saying that the very word “God” offends them, they are contradicting themselves. They refuse to put “Merry Christmas” or “Christmas Break” on school calendars; instead “Happy Holidays” and “Winter Break”, so they wish to honor all holidays; not being too ‘restrictive’ on Jews (Hanukkah), or blacks (Kwanzaa). But now that’s not enough. Now, they want to wean America off of Christmas the way a cat is weaned off of soft food, so they can try other options. We started with three holidays, but now have two. The very religion used to found this country is being spat at in the face, by such low blow sucker-punches as this. Why? Because they can, and love getting offended.

Ranting Zits

2005-12-09T19:40:00.000-08:00

Well, it’s December 9th, 2005; and yes, I am late… BY FOUR DAYS!! Good to see that people are keeping up on my Zits, though. Ouch. Moving on. Recently, I took a month-long break to relieve some of the stress of trying to post at least once a week. Boy, did it work.

During that month, I realized something. I actually don’t like to have to keep up on a blog.

So, yes, I quit.

BUT I decided to go out with a bang, so before I do, I will write a series of posts about nothing; sort of like Seinfeld, except it will be in written form… and no Soup Nazi…or Missing Sock…and of course not even as funny… so I guess it’s nothing like Seinfeld. Not that there's anything wrong wrong with that. Over my break, a series of poorly segued thoughts came through my head. I am going to write these thoughts, theories, and rants as posts.

Keep in mind: I am a fifteen-year-old, God-fearing, drumming, Murrieta Valley Church-going person who has not finished developing my points of view. I do not know the difference between Armenian, Presbyterian, and Senator McGreevy. I do not know the number or names of Supreme Court members. I do not know the greatest athlete in a given field (or court, for that matter) I do not like followers, and I hate labels, although I say them all the time. If “Two Bros and a Hessian walk into a…” makes any sense to you, we’re on the same page. My favorite bands are The Dave Matthews Band, followed by Alter Bridge, Senses Fail, and Thrice, but I balance it out with EW&F, Stevie Wonder, and Steely Dan; and I think the Ramones and, (I’m gonna upset someone here), The Beatles are the most overrated bands in music history. I love guy dramas, like Good Will Hunting, The Green Mile, The Shawshank Redemption, Lonesome Dove, and Secondhand Lions.

If you still don’t get it, I’m just trying to say this: I’m a kid.

That said, please understand that the break has given me lots of mental energy, and I just rediscovered a perfect outlet. I do not know how many posts this series will comprise of; so don’t hold your breath, but check back often. Who knows… given enough good response, I just might keep on keepin’ on!

By the way, the ‘series’ will be called “In Over My Head: Rants Of The All-American Teenager”

The Pitiful Poster

2005-11-07T16:46:00.000-08:00

There Once Was A Blogger,
Who Was A Little Like Frogger,
Jumping Around His Blogs,
Similar To The Logs,
Trying To Keep Up On Them Both...
And It's Real Hard.

You See,
His First Blog Was In Need Of Clearasil,
So Zits Was It's Name,
And Pubescent Ranting Was It's Game.
This Blogger Need Spend A Little More Time On One Than The Other,
And Pleaded A Short Vacation, So He Could Write For The Blog's Brother,
The Sermon, And...

UGHHH! I can't think of anything that rhymes with "Sermon".

Anyways, I'll be taking two fort-night's of break, so in the meantime, check HERE, at "The Sermon".

Gone to learn how to rhyme, see you here at December fifth, sharp!

Just D.A.R.E. To Say No

2005-11-01T21:42:00.000-08:00

This week, my school is having Red Ribbon Week. Why? To tell 14-18 year-olds to… well, actually there is no point to it. The Government dumps millions of dollars every year into D.A.R.E., M.A.D.D., and other anti-whatever organizations to do their job. Great. No drugs, alcohol, teen pregnancies are great causes to fund. Or so I thought…

Tuesday, Nov 1, 2005

It’s been a day since I’ve seen land. In 3rd period, we traced our feet on the concrete to symbolize “Stomping Out Drugs”. I don’t know what this teaches us, except that you can’t erase chalk.

Bummer.

Irreverant Fraudulence

2005-10-20T19:55:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentleman….

For the past month or two, Reverend James Jackson has been frustrating many big-name bloggers such as
CenturiOn
Pecadillo
Myself (although not so big-name)
Scott Hill & Fide-O
Daniel
Mikey C
Marc
And Theteak.

This has all been a satirical sham. A small play with a cast as follows-Rev. James Jackson= CHRISTIAN SURVEY BOARD (Who would have guessed??) Rev. Jackson James= DANIEL
All else= duped into believing it! To see the full story, read these posts thoroughly!

Somebody call 60 Minutes… SHEEEESH!!

The World According To Starbucks

2005-10-09T15:08:00.000-07:00

This morning, while sitting in my Bible study, my mom brought me in a Starbucks Grande Caramel Macchiato Espresso with double vanilla and caramel (this is what happens when I throw imaginary darts at the 500-option beverage menu) and I realized that Starbucks started putting “The Way I See It” on the side their $5.00 coffee with a free cup. Great idea...really. A nice icebreaker for those ‘verbally glaciered’ consumers at Starbucks. As I began reading mine, thinking it would say something from a thinking man like Confucius, Ghandi, Ben Franklin, or Keith Richards, I was surprised by a certain ’Armistead Maupin’, whom I had never heard of. The cup read:
"My only regret about being gay is that I repressed it for so long. I surrendered my youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there loving someone. Don't make that mistake yourself. Life's too damn short.”

This being my first time reading the cup, I was surprised to find myself saying this to my pastor as my class was coming in. This is not what I expected from this ad campaign. Now, why is The Starbucks Coffee Company, the world’s number one supplier of ‘Christian crack’ telling me what to think about how to handle homosexuality? I think I’ve been doing it just fine on my own thus far! (JUST KIDDING,). Below the quote was a disclaimer so small I thought it was an ant looking for a quick energy boost, but after I reprimanded the little hemiptera for java thievery, I realized it read
“Please note: The opinions put forth by contributors to “The Way I See It” do not necessarily reflect the views of Starbucks.”

Hmmmmm… now, which part of 'supporting' thinkers to put their ideas on a cup isn’t giving Starbucks' opinion, even if it is twice removed. I looked on the company's website for some Venti enlightenment, and a FAQ on the sayings was this (I added emphasis):
Q: How does Starbucks select contributors and quotes?
A: “ Initially, we invited a number of notable contributors from various fields, without payment or promise of publication. If the author chose to participate, and contributed something original that fit within the scope of our editorial guidelines, we considered it for publication.”

OK then. So, Starbucks doesn’t condone homosexuality, but they do invite fairly well known homosexuals to comment about their homosexuality in a positive light, therefore getting others to consider homosexuality, in a positve light. But remember, they don’t condone homosexuality!

Not that I went there a lot anyways, but I probably won’t buy Starbucks anymore, but also because their Croissants are like, $3.50. Besides, there’s an AmPm next door to the local Starbucks that has great coffee. And five dollars cheaper.

Good Times Gone

2005-10-04T20:13:00.000-07:00

I recently was editing my profile when I noticed I had the movie “The Sandlot” in the movies section, which got me thinking about it. Whatever happened to the ‘good ole’ days’ of ¢98 baseballs and $2000 light teal Bel Air Nomads? Obviously, I’m neither a baby-boomer, nor a historian on the era. But after seeing the movie, I wished I were alive then. For those depraved people who haven’t seen it, it’s a summer in 1959, centered around nine young teenage boys who love the game of baseball with a passion. A conflict arises when The Beast (the giant dog owned by the hermit of a next door neighbor, James Earle Jones) is stealing all of their baseballs. These boys are on a mission to establish dominance over the yards. One acre of paradise and an entire summer to create legends in it. This film is easily the perfect boy’s movie. I first saw it at my grandma’s house when I was six or seven, and to this day, I still watch it with all of my cousins whenever I go up there.

This post is not meant to be a movie review, I told you that story to ‘catch you up’. For those of you who have seen it, then you’ll know what I’m talking about. In one scene, the boys are playing baseball, under a Fourth of July firework show, with Louie Armstrong singing “What a Wonderful World” in the background. I laughed, I cried, but mostly cried. Why can’t I do that stuff, I thought. Then I realized—this is 2005, not 1959, and times are rough:

● An all-time low for successful marriages
● An all-time high for teen pregnancies, divorces, poverty, and suicide.

There’s something missing. Now, Pleasantville is just a name of a movie. Utopia is just the name of an old book. Sure there were problems back then, but with scientific advances constantly emerging, a steady comeback to the WWII economy dip, and an appreciation for… well, everything. A kid in the late ‘50s and early ‘60s was at a peak for morale. No boastful talk of suicide, hate crime, or thirteen and fourteen-year-olds getting high before having sex. Your life would be like an endless summer, punctuated by visits to the local pool and the lifeguard lotioning herself in a risqué… one-piece.

Good Times Gone… But Why?

My Favorite Martian-- I Mean, Hessian

2005-09-29T19:30:00.000-07:00

Lately, it seems that everywhere I look, there are these guys, who'd rather look like little boys in high school rather than men in high school. Tight pants, tight shirts, usually displaying some random phrase like “Virginia Is For Lovers" or “I Killed James Dean”. They’re everywhere.

These…are the Hessians.

If the only fault were the pants, I wouldn’t care. But, come to find out, they wear makeup, (as in foundation, not just punk-rock eyeliner), shave their chest and legs, paint their nails, and worst of all, WEAR PINK!! This class of people is not to be confused with metrosexuals, they’re not. Metros would never touch a skateboard. No, these are the Hessians, who girls seem to adore for their individuality. Helllooo! If I’m able to classify their exact physical and emotional traits, they must not be as individual as you thought!
The non-conformist engagement is nothing new. The Ramones, The Misfits, even The Beatles were pushing the envelope. It’s now become so common, the individuality, even if edgy and border-lining evil can be predictable. The same face-covering hair, the same world-hating angry teens and young adults who love anything not normal, thus making it normal. They are conforming to the self-image of eachother!!!

Along the horizon, I can already see a second swing revival. Solid white shirts (cuffed up sleeves), solid blue jeans (once again, neatly cuffed up), and slicked back hair. Get ready Brian Setzer; you're about to see a spike in record sales.

The Beauty Of Being... Dumb?

2005-09-17T10:40:00.000-07:00

I'm liking this puberty thing. I realized its time to write about the subject of why I started this thing in the first place: a fifteen-year-old writing about things that pop from/into my head; giving others a pseudo-enlightenment into the world of a teenager. Adults always say: “But I was a teenager once, I already know what its like”. O.K. And I'm sure you loved to rant and rave and talk about things that made you mad or happy. There is no reasoning, no logic, any common sense or forward thinking. That’s the beauty of being a teenager. It’s just like the movie Office Space. The stereotypical cubicle-dwelling fat guy who just wants to get his stapler back from corporate, loves working hard, doing the right things at the right times. But in the end, he burns the place to the ground, when we find him getting some R&R on a tropical island, drinking a Mai Tai. We are that guy! We did stuff the right way, but got bored with it, and burned maturity to the ground. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no pyromaniac or anything, that’s Phil Johnson’s job, but it sure feels good (in a sort of sick way) to be bumpkins with a hall pass to make stupid decisions... It’s expected of us! We are just doing what’s expected! Isn’t that what you adults want? (Once again, no logic) Please, don’t be alarmed, it is just a phase. We do have hopes and ambitions, besides seeing who can set the record on a downhill derby consisting of, not drunken men but teenagers, (which is, after all the pubescent equivalent), a shopping cart and some traffic cones. Fun.

But until those ambitions, (whatever those are) kick in… that rationally impaired Mai Tai [imagination, people; work with me here] sure tastes good.

Random Queston Break::::::::

2005-09-09T21:36:00.000-07:00

Q: You're stuck in a well with not but a goat and a slinky. What to do?

Well...
That all depends on how big the slinky is, or how small the goat is, however you want to look at it. If the the slinky's (here-on known as "The Spring") general triangulated mass is equal or greater to than that of the goat (here-on known as "The Billy"), then the spring, given enough internally suspended velocity, would rapidly remove the the billy from the bottommost surface of the subterranian aquatic resevoir, at which point the billy would leave you to an ironically regrettable fate of being on the recieving end of many an empty water bucket, being mutually empty while on the downward trip or traversing back.

Or you could just yell. Loud.

Joe Student And The Angry Flying Birdie

2005-09-06T16:42:00.000-07:00

I am enjoying my 3rd week at Great Oak High School, a fifteen-year-old freshman. No, I haven’t got my butt kicked yet. While in my 4th period math class last week, the kid behind be, who’s name I won’t mention and the teachers assistant were getting into a squabble, and finally I hear: “Man, I got to go cool my jets down, dawg. It’s time you got off my back, son”. That’s right, coming from the student. Then, before shoving past the teacher, the sudent walked towards the ‘official’ teacher and flew him the bird like Bruce Banner, mid-transformation during rush hour traffic. Teacher and aid conversed with one phrase: “So… what do you think we should do about that?”

Don’t be upset though, he got a stern talking to.

The problem, as the public school system (and just about every adult under it’s influence) puts it, is not ‘self-esteem’. It’s a respect problem. The teachers want to avoid stepping on any toes, the parents want the kids to be friends, and the kids don’t care. A while back, as I’ve seen first hand, valley-girl ditziness and skater boy antics led to phrases like “I’m so dumb”, (in response to that same ditziness), as a joke of course, and the ever-socially-conscious public school system flipped, and began printing such things as class posters promoting ideologies like:

· You’re all winners in your own special way
· Jump into a pool of you!
· AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITES:
· Even if you’re all alone, stick by your gun*!
*WHICH ARE NOT ALLOWED ON CAMPUS!!
· “Lets remove “FAIL” from school, instead, I’m thinking… “Deferred success!”

The focus is on the individual's aspects, and they're being thrown as a big blankey on the students as a whole. After a while, the school got themselves believing their own propaganda, now anything wrong with the disciplinary process is self-esteem. The students became over-inflated with self-esteem, then “socially invincible”. When there is no respect, there is no vulnerability.